official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
