he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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