$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
