Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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