I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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