I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
