5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize