I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Just puked most of my soul out..
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize