i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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