the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
