you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
