yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
