yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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