Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
