This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize