office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
