Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
