I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Your cock deserves a montage
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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