Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
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its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
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Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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