DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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