Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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