So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
