It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
