youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
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Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
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Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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