hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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