i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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