its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
