I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
