worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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