these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
