Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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