New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
