He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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