Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
