My hand turned me down
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
