Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
