He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
