It's just like the Real World with babies
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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