You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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