as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
