Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
