I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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