if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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