Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
