I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
