Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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