I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
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