Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
