is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
She is in my trunk
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
