whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
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Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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