absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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