My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
