I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
