According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize
