I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
