is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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