oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
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His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
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BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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