he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize