3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize