She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
