dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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